NYPD policeman Nick Spitz (Adam Sandler) can't quite pass the detective test for the third time and hides it from his wife Audrey (Jennifer Aniston). She pushes him to go on an European vacation. She sneaks onto first class and encounters Viscount Charles Cavendish (Luke Evans) who invites the couple to a family gathering on his yacht. The family patriarch and Charles' uncle Malcolm Quince (Terence Stamp) announces that he's leaving his fortune to his new wife Suzi. He is murdered before he signs the new will. It's a wild weekend of Clue characters and it's a murder mystery. Inspector de la Croix immediately sees the Spitzes as his prime suspects and Nick has to solve the case with his wife.I actually like Sandler and Aniston as a bickering middle age couple. I think they've found their sweet spot at this stage of their careers. They just need to make sure that they have a good story. This is almost there. I actually think that this would work better with a straight Agatha Christie murder mystery. Sandler and Aniston could be a new mystery solving team. They're the new Hart to Hart if it's done right. That's what's missing from this movie. The clues comes out of nowhere at the end and nobody cares about discovering the killer's identity. The chemistry is good and these characters could be good as long as the writing is good.
This is about a serial killer connected to some gruesome Hollywood murders in the 1950's and in the present day. The movie begins in black and white in 1958. First we see some burial places and a newspaper on the ground sensationalizing a Hollywood murder. Then a Bogart-like cliché or simulation in trench coat and hat (whose face we never see clearly) lights up a cigarette in the dark to cool jazz. He starts walking down a dark alley, makes a left, there is a white flash and he's now on Hollywood and Vine at night, present day, and the film switches to color. Heading in the opposite direction he passes a young woman (Model?) who the camera is following from behind. The hottie pauses looking somewhat confused, then turns around to find that Trench Coat has disappeared. She continues on her way while Trench Coat, who has reappeared, watches her.After her sister is brutally murdered a woman is kidnapped (From a police car!) by a man in a trench coat and crude black mask with eye holes and mouth hole. He takes her to an abandoned building and locks her up in a large cage with bars like a jail. At this point the movie starts to chronicle each day that passes. You know, "Day 1", "Day 2", and so on. Each day and number is accompanied by a short burst of old black and white pictures of murders and documentation. What for? -I dunno.The killer never did anything to the kidnapped woman that CLEARLY explained to me why he kidnapped her. It seems it had something to do with her baby. Perhaps too, he wanted an audience? I say this because from where she was being kept she could see him when he hauled in another victim. As well, she could see his well lit "work area" with all it's frighteningly crude instruments of dismemberment, evisceration, and decapitation. This was conveniently also the kitchen area. I know because at one point (after Day 13 when she was capturing and eating cockroaches) he offered his captive SOMETHING fried up in a skillet. We know what that was. Thigh of girl. Still alive, by the way, as he cuts portions for cooking. Nevertheless, it had to be a step up from the cockroaches, I say. Maybe I'm grossing you out, Reader. But if you had to choose? In this movie some scenes, performances, and genre seemed incongruous. At one point, for example, the killer cuts off a woman's hand. Then directly after, we see him disposing of a dismembered "foot" in a furnace. I, and you, would have expected to see the hand he just cut off. Because of the bad acting on the part of the key players and bizarre story the movie came across as a "dark comedy". This includes the kidnapped woman, the killer, and the unconvincing police detectives. The guy playing the cop who had to tell the woman about her sister did a first-rate job of acting, though. So much so that I had to wonder what he was doing in this thing. Bruce Dern appears later as a "captive ghost" high on religion whom the kidnapped woman must help liberate along with a little ghost girl. Bottom line: Do I recommend it? Well if you're a film student and you want to learn what not to do, I say "yes". As well, if you're one of those eclectic "movie nerds" you might wish to add this to your collection. The rest of you I gather have lives so I say "no". Love, Boloxxxi.
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